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i'm not here - this isn't happening - last entry / next entry - Dreams | 2001-11-06 8:33 a.m.Feel like crap. Woke up not wanting to wake up. Had a night full of dreams last night. And some nondreams. Easiest to start with the nondreams. I woke up and R was cuddled next to me. I went to turn over and he grabbed my shoulders or waist or something and started to rock me. I yelled, "R, what are you doing? Let go!" And he replied, "I'm helping rub in the aloe." Hehheh. I said, "I don't need aloe, let go." He's the funniest. Recurring nightmare came back. When I was a junior in hs, I got a little black bunny. First mistake: I got it from a pet store. This thing was f-ed up from the getgo. I had to keep her in the garage during the winter. That was fine junior year. Senior year was bad. I swear this rabbit hated me. I would go to give it food and it would bite me! Every time. I started to forget to feed it for days at a time. My mom would have to remind me. I anticipated forgetting so I would put lots of food in her bowl. Also, I hated feeding her because I didn't like being bit. Well, my nightmare is this. I remember to feed her and run down to the garage. She is emaciated but still alive. Variations include my other past pets also in the garage and I have forgotten to feed them, like my hamsters and guinea pig. They are down to the bones and I'm so upset with myself. It's a really horrible dream considering I love animals terribly. Which reminds me, I saw a little black cat on the side of the road this morning. :( I had another dream. I dreamt of an ex-boyfriend. I knew it was him, but it didn't LOOK like him. He had a daughter from a girlfriend he didn't want to be with, and all I could think was, "Well, at least we know he's not a virgin anymore." Hehheh. I also remember taking off my shirt in front of him and taking a shower. But my family was there too. My mom took a shower after me. For some reason, I didn't mind him seeming my naked backside, but I didn't want him to see my front side, and so I sat on the floor and tried to leave the room by scooting my butt on the floor out of the room, and I was still covered in soap. Oh, what a bizarre dream. Woke up from that one less than amused. Maybe I dreamt of water because I had to pee so bad when I woke up. I always have funny dreams about water and toilets when I have to go to the bathroom. One particular dream I had in the past month: I was going to be late for class, a class I had missed for the last 3 months or so, but I really had to go to the bathroom. So the bell rang and I walked into what I thought was a bathroom. I was a huge cafeteria-looking room. There were two doors at the end of it. I went to them and they led stairs going downward. I followed them and was brought to another room that looked just like the one above except it was full of oversized toilets.... no stalls. I said, "fuck it," and sat down on one. One or two people walked in while I was peeing, and I felt selfconscious, but I still went. No, I didn't wet the bed. I DO know that I hate the thought of being seen on the toilet. This dream obviously had to do with that. Stems from an experience I had at a Ben and Jerry's once. I have no ambition today... or any day. Listening to:
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