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i'm not here - this isn't happening - last entry / next entry - Finding the power | 2001-11-12 5:15 p.m.Review:
Diet Fuel 120 calories
Ugh, chicken fingers tonight. I wasn't going to write down my calorie tally today, but then I visited totally in control, and got my motivation back. I'm comletely bloated and my period is in full swing. I HATE IT. My legs feel huge and puffy. I can fell them rubbing together and it makes me ill. The visualization thing is starting to work. I'm picturing myself being skinny and taking up modeling. (EEEEEEEEE!!!) It helped that R called me "so pretty" 3 times randomly yesterday. *wicked big grin* I want to be skinny, and I want people to call me **too** skinny. They were doing that at 128 lbs! Imagine what I will look like at 110 or 100!!!! One of my big concerns is what R thinks. He says he doesn't like boney girls... he was afraid he would crush them. But we passed by a picture of Kate Moss in the mall the other day, and I said, "Ew, that doesn't look sexy, I wonder why they put that up," to which he replied, "What do you mean? I was just thinking that picture was extremely hot!" I think he tells me he doesn't like skinny girls because I am not skinny, and he sees nothing wrong with me. So he's just being nice. His last girlfriend has been described as "ANOREXIC." The A-word!!!!! (Duhn-duhn-DUHN!!!!!!) And he was madly in love with her. Well, anyway, the moral of the story is -- I will be thin.
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