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I'm a little bit of everything today, like a buffet table. I'm up, I'm down, I'm all around. I'm cranberry sauce, I'm a souffle. I'm cheesecake, I'm carrots. Hmm, an awful lot of c words in that sentence. Wonder if it's cpsychological?

Yesterday:
Mt. Dew 170 cal
PB crackers 190 cal
Went to the diner and had a chicken sandwich with mushrooms and cheese, with a few french fries and half a cup of chicken and rice soup... hmmm... WAY TOO MANY CALORIES. Probably up to 700, but I ate pretty sparingly and didn't even feel full when I was done....
Total: WHOA! Up around 1400

I need to take this thing more seriously. I'm not going to lose any weight at this rate. And next week I'll be eating out every meal. I need to learn more self-control.

Today: Diet Fuel, in milk, half a scoop (MUCH YUMMIER) 140 calories
Diet Dew

NO snacks, NO real Dew, NO passing go, NO collecting $200.

I have to have project ideas in today. I don't even want to think about food, and now I have to for at least 8 hours. Ugh.

I thought the test went well... that must mean I failed.

Stupid American Airline, the tail fell off first. I'm DEFINITELY not flying any more. Sorry Mom and Dad. I guess I'll just have to take the train or something, because I can't drive by myself that far.

I really hate myself right now. :(

Part 2 2:02 PM

I came up with a really cool product idea, but it probably will have been done already. Oh well. :( It's a loser idea on the whole anyway. I'm not creative in food because I don't know much about the chemistry of it all.

Food sucks.
A banana 110 cals
Same lunch as yesterday minus chips 230 cals
Total 480
I want to eat so badly but I'm not hungry. I'm trying so hard and I'm going to ruin for myself, I just know it. The scale said 134 again this morning even though it said 139 last night. I'm getting to comfortable with that, it's like I think I'm losing the weight, but my pants don't feel any looser.

GERTMAN, GERTMAN, GERTMAN
I'm really pissed off about the Gertman thing. He really made me upset trying to make me pity him like that. Yeah, that's attractive, I definitely want to date him now. I'm still angry 2 1/2 years later. What's the deal? Andy just didn't get it. But I have no idea how his mind works now anyway. A long time ago in a galaxy far far away. Hey, I kissed Andy.... strange memory. I don't know if I could ever be with anyone who is skinnier than me. It just isn't right. Follow my madness, I dare you.

Story! Short one I swear. R and I were watching the Disney preview tape last night, and some woman came on who was belly dancing. R said, "Oh, I'd like to see her!" And I said, "Goddamnit, I think my goal in life should be to become as hot as possible so you can't say that kind of thing to any woman except me." He laughed and said, "I like that goal." Nonsequitor, sorry. Not even very important.

So R and I were joking about getting married, (yeah, joking) and I was saying how much I dislike his stepfather and I wouldn't want him to go to the wedding. Yeah, he said, I don't think he would take it to kindly if we addressed the wedding invitation to Donna T. (his mom) and guest.

No, I don't think so. Too bad, too. Oh his car blew up. Couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

The end for now.

Listening to:
Thinking:
Weight:

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My current state is:

recent entries:

Bah - 138 07.19.08
Losing control - 135 07.11.06
Spa weekend - 132 07.03.06
Drinking too much - 134 06.27.06
Okay weekend - ??? 06.26.06