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i'm not here - this isn't happening - last entry / next entry - I quit | 11.27.01 12:39 pmI simply cannot work today. I don't know what it is. Suddenly, I want to quit. I want to go work at Target or something, anything where I don't have to sit at a desk, where I can move around, lose myself in a mindless routine, like stocking shelves. Make sure everything lines up perfectly. Clean the dust off unpopular items. Buy laxatives. Drink more diet dew. Take a break. Take up smoking. Just no more of this, please. I'm bored. Maybe it's the Zoloft. It's like Sally Field's character on ER -- she went on medication and lost all her creativity. Well, I'm not having any more anxiety attacks, but I'm not motivated. It's like the anxiety was my motivation. How do normal people do it? Don't you just love it when you take the final swig of soda, and it misses you mouth but lands directly in your bra? I suppose guys don't have that problem. Well, maybe that certain exboyfriend of mine does. I have to keep this job until December to make sure they pay for my schooling, but I want to quit so badly. It's like a disease. The thought crept up in my mind and now it won't go away. I wish to do nothing right now. If I were a model, I wouldn't have this problem. I am so hungry. Well, not hungry exactly. I just WANT to eat. Something, anything. I almost had a pretzel stick. Instead I allowed myself to finish my baby carrot sticks. Stupid executives wandering around our offices looking for phones to check their voicemail. Don't interrupt me. I'm eating my carrots surfing the web. Very important stuff, you know. Go away. Please make this nightmare end. I was so pumped to get back to work yesterday morning, and all that energy is already gone. What happened? Where did it go? Do I need another vacation? Maybe I just need a permanent vacation. Quit. Can someone please help me? I'm trapped. Listening to:
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