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i'm not here - this isn't happening - last entry / next entry - Down - 131 | 12.05.01 11:45 amI'm having a horrible day today. I was upset last night because R kept on bringing up the move. I told him I was upset and he said to just not worry about it. Asshole. I ate something I shouldn't have last night, but I didn't know how many calories it was until 3 hours later. :( So dinner was around, oh, 700 calories. Blow me out of the water and call me a whale. I'll never make it. I wish I could just starve. And because I'm so upset right now, I don't know if I want to binge or starve. usually when I'm upset, I lose lots of weight. Right before M's wedding, R and I were having problems and I lost 5-10 pounds. I looked DAMN GOOD at that wedding, and it was completely unintentional. I know I'm doing something wrong by just restricting my diet. I should probably keep my body from going into starvation mode by eating irregularly. 300 one day, 1000 the next. Ugh, I just don't want to think about it. One good thing, I had a conversation with J this morning about starting my own business, and she was really excited for me. She said that this would be the best time to do it because I could work temp jobs until work picks up.... I dunno, I was happy about it about 2 hours ago. It's not fair. The morning flew by until 11, now every minute is just crawling. I want to go home for lunch, cry a bit, then call my parents and tell them I'm moving and that I'll be visiting in January. Then I need to call my brother and let him know so he can make his own travel arrangements for January so i can see him. Did I mention ugh? Food:
Yeah. Yesterday, ended up around 1100. Failure. Today:
Today I want to take lots of sleeping pills and just forget about everything. I don't think the zoloft is handling all this. I need a drink. Stats:
Listening to:
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