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i'm not here - this isn't happening - last entry / next entry - Walmart | 12.21.01 12:03 pm15 Things to do at Wal-Mart while your spouse/partner/significant other is taking his/her sweet time: > 1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking. 2. Set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5 minute intervals > 3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor to the rest rooms. > 4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3 in housewares" and see what happens > 5. Go to the service desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layaway. > 6. Move a "CAUTION WET FLOOR" sign to a carpeted area > 7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from the bedding department. > 8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask "Why can't you people just leave me alone?" > 9. Look right into the security camera and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose. > 10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are. > 11. Dart around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the theme from Mission Impossible. > 12. In the auto department practice your Madonna look using different sized funnels. > 13. Hide in the clothing rack and when people browse through say "PICK ME, PICK ME!!!! > 14. When an announcement comes over the intercom, assume the fetal position and scream 'NO, NO, It's those voices again!!!" > AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST: > 15. Go into a fitting room and yell real loudly..."Hey we're out of toilet paper!!!"
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