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i'm not here - this isn't happening - last entry / next entry - Looking for a job | 02.06.02 2:53 pmSo here I am.... What the hell am I doing? Phase shift: I've started dressing differently. And by differently, I don't mean I changed my wardrobe. It's just the little things. I bought these boots on Saturday for the club that I absolutely love, and I've worn them every day since. They have heels, and I love heels! Plus I'm not wearing my orthodics in them, and that hasn't been bothering me for some (spectacular!) reason. Also, I have been wearing the leather trench R bought for me. I LOVE IT. With these two new pieces of apparel have come a new feeling, a new sense of self, a new MOTIVATION. I feel cool.... Working on the beautiful part. I haven't worn makeup for about 6 or 7 months. Strange for someone who used to layer it on. But I go through these phases. 8 months on, 6 months off, 4 months on... you get the picture. I put it on the other day, to complement the other changes. It felt... weird. I like that the concealer covers up the dark circles under my eyes and the weird dry skin going on around my mouth, but I think I also look FATTER with makeup. My skin is so UNIFORMLY WHITE with makeup on. I need to go tanning or something and lose a little of this baby fat on my cheeks. I don't look STREAMLINED. I look puffy. I'm sure R is pleased I don't look quite so... domestic and plain. I'm having a hell of a time getting a job. True, I'm not looking too hard. It's my own fault. I went to a temp agency that R's HR person suggested. They didn't sound all that promising. But I feel locked in with them until I move to Leominster and can contact the OfficeTeam there. I'm already registered with OfficeTeam, so NO EVALUATIONS. Yesterday, I sighed as she brought me to the computer. I whipped through everything though. Why bothering getting anxious about it? The secretary told me she hadn't seen scores like that in a long time! I scored 90-100 on Office... well, except the Advanced part of Excel. Something about naming cells, I've never had to do that before. And I typed 71 wpm. Whatever. That doesn't ensure a job, not a good one at that. JUST LET ME WORK ALREADY. I really want to do something creative now. Have fun. Do design or marketing. But I'm not qualified enough to get a job. COME ON PEOPLE, DON'T YOU RECOGNIZE THE GENIUS IN ME JUST BY LOOKING AT ME? DOESN'T THE LEATHER TRENCH COAT JUST CRY OUT, "WICKED AWESOME"?!?!?!?!?!??! *Ahem.* Whatever. Listening to:
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