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i'm not here - this isn't happening - last entry / next entry - More | 02.27.02 4:01 pmNo. 3 What the heck, it's snowing now! It was pouring before. When did this happen? Did anyone know? It's sort of wet, so I doubt it will stick. :( WE NEED SNOW! I ruined my calorie count today. I just started to binge on candy. Where is my self-control? I used to be so good! I can't scold myself anymore. I'm like a stubborn teenager, I just don't listen to myself. My cravings know better than my brain! Duh! Maybe I just need to get back to the gym or something. I kept going on and on in emails to my friend to let her know I REALLY wanted to go to dance classes with her. She was getting frustrated with me. I called the dance school to get details. They weren't there, of course. I NEED TO EXERCISE. And it's not going to happen while I am still working in Burlington. R doesn't want to sit in traffic on Rte 2 so we are going to hang out at the mall or something and eat dinner while we wait for traffic to lighten up. That means we won't get back to Leominster until 7:30 or 8. Ugh. I hate this. I need to find a better job. I have self-nominated myself for a couple positions at the AFB, but I doubt I'll hear anything. Even that's kind of far, but I wouldn't have to pass 95. Or take Rte. 2 the whole way. Stupid Rte. 2. This whole moving thing has really put a kink in my exercise and weight loss plans. At some point I'll get worked up about it enough to actually do something about it, but until then, I think I'll just continue to complain. ...WHAT?! What did I just say? Yes, it's true, I won't actually do anything. I won't get my lazy (huge) ass in gear. I'm a procrastinator. STOP IT, LIS. GET A GRIP. GET SOME EXERCISE, EVEN IF IT'S JUST YOGA AT HOME. DO SOMETHING YOU BIG FAT BITCH! Okay, okay.... I get the picture. Sheesh. You didn't need to yell. Ahhh... I just talked to J back at AM Todd. She talked about Bob being let go. Everybody has their speculations about what's going on. Nobody is happy. J said she has been returning headhunters' calls. I don't blame her. Get the hell out. I'll still get to work with her through the society, so I don't care WHERE she works. But for her happiness, I hope she leaves. Lots of flakes out there. I am not complaining. But I'm driving R's car, so... Hmmm... lots of random thoughts besides what I wrote above. How much could a model potentially make a year? Will I ever get to the point where I CAN model? Ugh. Back to that again, eh? I'm still reading Lust Killer. I'm intrigued. I can't wait to pick it back up and finish it. I also can't wait to get back to work on my cross stitching. It's been so long! R and I have been so busy with the house that we don't get to do anything interesting! He insists that the place be immacualte by this weekend so that people can come over. Yeah, right. But I did pretty well yesterday picking up the bedroom. What will I do tonight when I get home? Does anyone have recommendations for staving off hunger? Completely? I find that when I am nauseated, I can turn down food without a second thought. When I started Zoloft, that was one un/pleasant side effect! I was so nauseated that I lost a couple pounds. Is there anything I can take? I can't take ephedra because of my anxiety disorder. I just realized that taking my vitamins without food can do it for me, but not always, and if I skip breakfast and the vitamins don't do their thing, I eat MORE than I usually would during the day. So... anybody have recommendations???? I'm desperate at this point. I need to lose this weight. Listening to:
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