 |
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||
|
i'm not here - this isn't happening - last entry / next entry - My parents and their business - 124 | 03.21.02 12:06 pmI wrote a long email to my sister this morning. I am going to make an outfit for my niece's teddy bear. And maybe a matching one for my niece. We'll see. But anyway. This email was long. I love hearing from my sister. I don't love calling her because I'm afraid she'll go on and on about her ex, my niece's father. I'm tired of hearing about him. My sis should never have dated him, never mind copulated with him. But of course, I love my niece too much to really say that. Every cloud.... This email went on and on about our parents and how they are trying to get us to join them in their business. They are selling nutritional supplements. Testimony I've read tells me it's really good stuff. However, scientists will prove whatever you pay them to prove. I haven't read any negative commentary. Funny. I really don't want my own business. I wanted to start one doing the things I do for the society, but that would require very little networking. My parents did Amway for a while. I HATED that. I don't want to do anything like that. Ever. I'm still exceptionally frustrated about my parents and their new business. It has given me a lot of anxiety as of late. I'll write more after lunch. *lunch* I just realized I forgot to put deoderant on this morning. (Insert something witty here in the vein of losing my head if it was not attached.) (Yawn.) I must make my life more interesting than this. I discovered last night that my hair is almost to my waist. This is the longest it has ever been. And then I started freaking out this morning about how much hair was in my hair brush when I was done blow drying it. How does one keep any hair on their head at all? Considering how much I lose when I brush my hair, and knowing that I have a definite number of hair follicles, how is it that I continue to have a full head of very long hair? I'm perplexed and worried. Hair can only grow so fast. My hair is thin, but it is the same thickness all the way to the ends. How? Is it magic?! :) Moving on. I wish it was Friday. It feels like Friday. Can we just pretend? I'm going nuts here. Nothing to do. Zoloft has calmed me down, but now I'm bored all the time. Nothing but complaints from this end, eh? I want to binge on biscuits. McVitie's biscuits. I never really had a taste for them when I was in England, but suddenly I want to down an entire package. They sell them in the US, I could just run out and get a package. But, no. I find it very strange that, before, when I didn't care about my weight, I automatically ate healthy food and had no desire to binge. Now that I am trying to lose weight, I crave foods I never liked eating. Is it possible that I used to eat 2000 kcal a day? Is that why my body "feels" hungry? My stomach is not yearning for food, but perhaps my subconscious mind knows that something is wrong and it trying to get something, anything into my belly. I'm still losing weight at 1200 kcal a day. I read that this could happen, but I didn't expect it, because this amount of food seems pretty comfortable and normal. I just did the math, and I must have had 2240 kcal a day to maintain 140 lbs. Crazy. I'm in denial. Speaking of weight, I'm 124 today. Crazy. Absolutely nuts. I'm happy. Although I was supposed to be 122 by tomorrow. I guess I'm just suprised that I'm 124 because it feels like I'm not working hard enough. Like I don't deserve it. Okay, I'm going to do some work now. I loathe being me right now. I need some chocolate or something. Must.... resist..... Listening to:
- last entry / next entry - |
||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
recent entries:
|
 |
 |
||||||||||||||||||||||
