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i'm not here - this isn't happening - last entry / next entry - Music - Giving up | 03.26.02 4:14 pmI'm TOTALLY in a good mood today. Weird. I'm psyched to get back into music. I just wish I could maintain this feeling forever! Why do I have to have periods of depression where I don't want to do anything, least of all music?! Why? Why? Why? I was pleased; Beethoven.com played my request for Schindler's List about 30 minutes after I requested it. The DJ even said, "Thanks (my name) for requesting Schindler's List! I haven't heard it in a while, and when I read your request, I thought, 'Great idea!'" (glowing) I scared myself last night. I laid on my left side and I wasn't wearing a shirt. My left hand was wrapped around me and rested on my right side. Suddenly, I felt two lumps and I was alarmed. Those two lumps were two of my ribs. I fingered them for a second, thinking, "My goodness, they are sticking out more than usual. I must have lost a bit of fat there." This led to exploration of other parts of my body. Bones starting to stick out everywhere. Not necessarily a bad thing. But I don't want to alarm anyone. Least of all myself! So I'm going to give this weight loss a break. It's making me tired. I'm just not committed to ana. I'm not her bitch. I'm going to try to stick at 125 for a little while and see how I feel. All my pants (trousers for the British types) are fitting pretty well, and I don't feel terribly fat. Sorry for giving up on my 120 Good Friday goal. I made it 50% to my goal. I'm pleased. I think next time I will only aim for 1 pound a week, because that's all I was able to accomplish this time, and I only felt slightly guilty about eating. :P If anybody knows of a job having to do with music in the Boston area, preferably having to do with office work, please let me know!!!!!!! Or maybe even an audition with a professional choir! I'm not picky! Ugh, I miss singing.... I need to find a good choir in my area. Listening to:
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