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The audition for the Fantasticks was a success, whether or not I get the role. I realized late last night, I don't know what part I'm being called back for. It could be Luisa, it could be the Mute. Yikes! Well, in the UMass production I saw, the Mute was played by Teri Parker, and she rocked. Such a talented young lady, and if she could do the part of the mute, then so could I. Anyway, I got to the audition, and immediately felt energized. I'm gonna do this! I sat down in the front row. Since I was the last one there (I had called ahead and said I might be a little late because I had a voice lesson) I was the last one to sing my prepared piece. There was only one other girl who sang well enough, in my opinion, to get the part of Luisa. She was 22 and had just graduated from the Tisch School at NYU. *Yikes!* But again, I looked at this as a good thing. That I was competing with an NYU graduate for a role was encouraging! I took mental notes about the way she did things, and her choices. Is it good etiquette to audition with a song from the musical you are trying out for? I would think, no, but who am I to say? I sang, "Kate the Great" by Cole Porter from Anything Goes. Oh, I love that song! A little too grown up for the part of Luisa, but still fun and it gets the laughs. And I got them too. The accompanist and I were at war about what the tempo should be, but I decided that I was gonna be the diva and just keep going instead of pussy-footing my way around a sightreading accompanist. I wrote notes on the music, like "FOLLOW ME," and "LEGATO," and "// GRAND PAUSE, FOLLOW ME" but whatever. A grumpy old man on piano? And a bit of a divo to boot? Hehheh. We settled in to do readings, and I started with a dialogue with a guy playing Matt. He was FANTASTIC and handsome too (although only 17 or 18!) Only one other girl did this reading with someone else, and she SUCKED. She was cute, but just read the words with a little inflection, like she was reading a bedtime story to a little kid. I went a bit over the top, but whatever. It's my first musical audition in, what, 5 years?

I came out of this audition thinking about how I need to improve my audition reading ability and learn how to tame my nerves. While waiting for my turn to do a reading, my jaw just started shaking, and then my hands. It as a little embarassing. The pages I was holding started bouncing and I looked like I had epilepsy. My jaw just kept going, and clenching it just made it hurt. I tried to massage it, but the hands thing, well, it didn't work. Then I remembered, breathe. I started taking slow, deep breaths, and the quaking slowed down, even though it didn't stop. I thought, "Am I going to be shaking like this when I get onstage???" But as soon as my name was called, it was like I could use the nervous movements toward my energy in the dialogue. My monologue reading kind of sucked, but I made some movement choices that I think were gutsy, like I started sitting on the ground, which no one else had done. I tried to emphasize different parts of the dialogue, but my real problem was that it just didn't flow. I would lose my place and stop. I hadn't memorized as much of it as I would have liked to in the 10 minutes I had to look at it. Ugh. I was a little disappointed in myself over that. But whatever, I'll know better next time.

Overall, a GOOD experience. I hope I won't be too upset with myself if I don't get a part. I made a deal with myself that if I don't get a role, I will join the choir that my teacher conducts. It's a group with a base of people from my old church whom I sang with over 10 years ago. They remember me and my mom, and they told my teacher to get me to join them! So, that I will do, if I'm not in this production.

Now I MUST do something with my day. Do some ballet, then take a shower and go to my therapy appointment. I've been so lazy today. But my neck is feeling much better.

Listening to: Nothing
Thinking: Lazy butt
Weight: 123

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My current state is:

recent entries:

Bah - 138 07.19.08
Losing control - 135 07.11.06
Spa weekend - 132 07.03.06
Drinking too much - 134 06.27.06
Okay weekend - ??? 06.26.06