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i'm not here - this isn't happening - last entry / next entry - Reprise | 06.06.02 8:45 pmI don't know if I can be as creative as I was an hour ago. I'm pretty pissed. All because I hit the wrong button. So I did pilates last night. My legs jiggled and the fat squeezed in the direction of my eyes, and it was pretty hideous. I was not amused. I almost gave up and realized I was being a whimp. I joined a gym today. Marched right in and paid $500 for a year. Then I ran two miles. Two miles is the most I have ever run. I could have run more today. I drank 3 diet dews today. I had been standing up at Staples for 8 hours. I had plenty of energy and was on a roll. But my ass was jiggling far too much and, strangely enough, that hurt a lot. My breath was steady, even. Very odd. But nice. My quads screamed at me when I was done. I didn't care. I deserve the pain. I'm a fat fuck. The scale at the gym said 132, so I'm guessing my morning weight should be around 128. My scale this morning said 126. I will have to fix that. That's not right. No way. No way in hell. I hate it when people tell me that I've done something wrong. "No! No! That's wrong. It's on sale for $99.94!" Pause. "After $10 instant savings and a $40 mail-in rebate.... SIR." Silence. I've won. He threw around the word "wrong" like I'd understand it. "There's a product replacement plan available on this for $19.99." "WRONG." What the fuck? Huh? Do people actually talk like that? Is that supposed to mean, "No thank you?" And on top of everything else, he was fat and butt ugly. Asshole. I went to the dentist yesterday and got a temporary crown for the tooth I had a root canal in 2 months ago. My dentist kept going on about how I needed to floss, and if I flossed, my gums wouldn't be bleeding this much, oh and did he mention I needed to floss, and I'd have a happy marriage if I flossed, and people could lose a lot of weight if they didn't floss because their gums would hurt too much when they ate. I asked him if he kept a dead horse in the office. He said no and why? Because he sure was beating one. Yeah, so my gums were bleeding A LOT. He wasn't kidding about that. I saw the little suction thingy siphoning the blood out of my mouth. Lots of it. I could taste it. He went to put the crown on and said, "Okay, I'll need to cauterize your gums, they are just bleeding way too much." I had never been cauterized before. Good thing they had given me some novacaine. It still hurt. I told him that even when I was flossing daily that my gums bled. Religiously. He said he didn't believe me. I went further and said, "Okay, I'll make a deal with you. I will floss every day for a year. I bet you that my gums will still bleed. If I am wrong, I will become a dental hygenist and work for you. If you will hire me." I think our bet is on. He didn't say no. My gums just love to bleed. He'll be sorry. But for now, I'm in pain. Damn him. I want to hate him, but he is a good dentist. He took the decalcification off my teeth and ground down the stupid bumps I had on my front teeth. He changed my life forever. He stopped the little kids from asking me if I had mayonnaise on my teeth. Bless him. Listening to: Sting - The Hounds of Winter
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