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i'm not here - this isn't happening - last entry / next entry - Eventful New Year - 124 | 01.05.03 7:10 pmI'm still here. Were you worried??? :) Let's see. I finished up at the diner on 12/20. The next day, we had R's family Christmas party. Then on Sunday we had dinner at his dad's house, and we went up to Maine. Okay, we were up in Maine from the 22nd to Jan 4th. Only two of those days were we alone. We stayed at the same house we stayed at on our honeymoon. Then on Christmas Eve, R's mom and asshole stepfather (aka Ass) came up. Ugh, all hell broke lose. Well, we dealt with it, just basically ignored Ass. Skied Dec 23, 24, 26, 27, 30, Jan 1, and 3rd. So I've skied 8 days so far this winter! R only skied 12 days last year, and he's a ski bum, so, yeah, I'm excited! I'm finally getting the parallel thing down. *blushes* I started skiing at 15, but only started *trying* about 6 years ago, when R and I started dating, but I I didn't ski every season. I would consider this my 4th season (or so) skiing. On New Years' my neck started killing me. I didn't eat anything or have coffee before we went to the mountain, so I felt all groggy. After the first run, I said, hold on, R, I NEED to have some coffee. So I ran inside and had some french vanilla coffee and felt so energized! But we got back on the lift and I noticed my neck was KILLING me. It just got worse as the day went on. It has been bugging me since = 5 days. I've decided I must have sprained my neck. How? I think I did it putting on my helmet of all things. I really have to struggle with it to get it on just so, and I must have stressed my neck after I had the coffee. It really hurts when I'm sleeping. I can't move it when I wake up. Last night I took the horse-shoe shaped pillow I use on airplanes and slept with it on. The pain was less! I just looked on webmd about neck injuries, and it says immobilizing collars and such just slow healing, and the best treatment is to ice the neck and exercise it to increase movement. Ugh, it hurts, how can I move it???? But I will do just that. Anyway, our skiing passes at the mountain in Maine were FREE! R has been skiing there for 15 years, and became an instructor 10 years ago. Everybody there knows him, including the people who run the ski school. He told the woman in charge that if she put him on the payroll (so he'll get discounts at the store and cafe) and gave us free passes, then he would teach for free whenever he was there. Cool..... So I skied 7 days for FREE. So cool. And my season pass at Wachusett was only $189, so I'm cruisin'. R keeps asking me if I want to go to Killington or Sunday River, or where ever, and I'm like, I'M UNEMPLOYED, DUDE!!!!! (And will be for 1 more week when I start my new job.) Why ski there when I can ski here for NOTHING? R gets bored skiing here, though. I don't blame him. He's an amazing skier and loves to be challenged. Okay, that's boring stuff. New Year's Eve was cool! The best New Year's we've ever had together. It was at this guy Peter's house. The owner of the ski area was there, and all the "important" people. R got completely trashed. I had some wine (since my little experiment in home-made tattoos I haven't really had much alcohol) and was completely fine. I was drunk until we had dinner, then I was painfully sober and BORED. But someone had rented a karaoke machine and the light inside my head switched on!!!! I got up there and sang a few songs and encouraged the littlest kids to get up and sing some stuff. I led a group of guys in a rendition of "Man I Feel Like a Woman." It was such a riot!!! By the end of the night, everyone knew my name and was trying to get me to sing some more. Yeah, and then I tried to sing "Crazy" by Patsy Cline. I haven't sung it in YEARS. Like, 15. So I got up there and completely FROZE. ME! I FROZE!!!! Two women came up to help me through the end of the song. I just couldn't remember how it went! I was so embarassed, and that was the last song I sang that night. Everybody still said glowing things about me. :) Warm fuzzies! Anyway, at midnight, we watched the ball drop and everyone had noisemakers and hats on and had those scary streamer things, and it was by far the craziest New Years I've ever attended. I had a glass of champagne (and it had absolutely NO effect on me, I did have FOUR SERVINGS OF DESSERT, AFTER ALL!!!! Oink), and then we went home. R puked a few times before he went to bed, and then a whole bunch when he woke up in the morning. Food: Not too bad. The first week I had trouble keeping myself in check and I snacked a little too much. But then the second week, with the exception of New Year's, I was so sick of overeating that I just didn't and I didn't have to think about restricting at all. Weight: I was at 123 when I left, I was 126 yesterday, and 124 today. Not too shabby. Exercise: NEEDING TO GET MY ASS IN GEAR. I have done crunches almost every single day since Thanksgiving! My abs are looking good. If I could get myself to go to the gym every morning, I'd be doing a lot better. Panic attacks: Only had one over my vacation. December 27th. It was quite bad, actually. I slipped away from the lodge and took a walk out into the parking lot to be by myself. I climbed over a huge snow pile and just laid there for about 30 minutes staring out into the woods. When I went back in, R's mom kind of gave me a look and said, "Oh!" and ran outside. I went to follow her and said, "What?" She told me R was looking for me. R was PISSED. He came over to me and said, "Where did you go?" I just looked away, still feeling like shit and suicidal, and he said, "Come on, it's time to go home." I guess he freaked out because he didn't know where I was and knew I was on the verge of "something" because I had been acting weird. I told him I didn't expect him to notice, and he said, "I always notice." I tried to cut wrist with a knife, but because the knife was dull or maybe I didn't feel serious about hurting myself. Anyway, I got over it and the feeling passed. Career: I want, more than ever, to be famous. Whether it's music or acting or modeling, I don't care. I just want to be successful!!!!!!!! Okay, almost time for Simpsons. Must go join the hubby. Listening to: Christina Aguilera, Stripped
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